Team Muzungu

Saturday and we went to the Black Monster again for muscle beating, and prepared for a night out in a local Ugandan drinking courtyard just outside of town. Laurence failed to make this adventure but perked up quickly as we came home and jumped on him. We then moved to a pool bar owned by one of our friends named Emily, hence the name "Ems Lounge"! Many bottles of 007 bond whiskey was devoured and a night in Casino club occured when things started to get slightly lairy. Ben was flirting away in German to a girl named Eva, and Holden was dancing with Dan Farnfield and Mark Malinga the 20 beer drinker. Ed had and interesting evening, and there was drama all round; but the message to all on this matter is....."just don't waste your time with

girlfriends, they may get you up, but they'll always let you down."

Sunday and it was Eds last night, a trip to town and some shopping was what we needed before playing a football game against some locals at which we won 4-1! Great play from Ashton and Andrew our driver secured a comfortable win, despite the fact the opposition were currently fasting...oh the joys of atheism! Once again a rigid outdated monotheistic deity belief sytem handicaps the 21st Century.

India fell sick so Holden, Ed, and Ash wen to visit her while Laurence and Chris the new liason officer of the guest house wacked up a classic two tray mass of Cottage Pie, 7 episodes of the OC Holden's new passion, and we waved goodbye to Ed Vanes. Thank you Ed for your friendship, but to us, you will always be: "Ed Vanes, part time striker, part time Boda driver", (reference, the Skills Haven video on our facebook profiles).

On Monday we needed a lie in. Another trip to the scrapheap challege style gym, and we took along a newbe, Sam, the new boss of Hailerbury Youth Trust, what a lad. The evening entailed yet another goodbye party, For Rachel from WGS, and Dan Farnfield, a true legend and LMVC. A BBQ up at Mark Malinga's house where a pig was slaughtered and lots of beer and speeches were enjoyed by all, god I'm writing like a pompus bellend. The pork kebabs really made excalliber look like a butter knife, and we retired to bed early after watching the Man U vs

Newcastle game, and a banterous skype convo with the one and only J Breakaway Mitchell.

Nearly time for Killi now...so will have to wait about 7-8 days for the next blog!

"Does any body want a chebab....??" Banter and the Chode, over and out. xxx

Who's your black monster?

The babies home night shift was just another classic chapter in the adventures, of Laurence and Holden. Several wake ups throughout the night but overall we battled through the poo, wee, milk, and crying but still smashed a good 6 hours sleep. Tuesday and we returned to our regular routine, a trip to our newly discovered gym called "The Black Monster Weight Lifting Club"!. If any one could argue lifting scrap metal and old tyres wasn't fun, they'd be wrong. A truely

African adventure as we made friends with the local meat heads of Jinja, and in summary, the most experimental fitness session of our lives, certainly the pearl of Africans weight lifting circuit, Arnie would have been proud. Tuesday evening and it was Sarah's last night, a trip up to "The Black Lantern", an A La Carte restaurant over looking the Nile, situated next to a back packers bar. The BBQ rips were divine, and the beer was refreshing, definately a recipe to disaster. And it was! Drinking games and Cardiff based chat enabled Laurence and Holden to take home the cup and title of funniest people in Jinja. We did however have some sad news. Annabel decided to break down, we were just praying she would pull through...

Wednesday and we smashed out another Gym session at Damwaters Health first club. We waved goodbye to Sarah and had a meal with the boys and an early night as Thursday was to be a good one. The next day we spent a productive day reading, practicing and listening to music. We also indroduced the game of Pat Ball in a perfect court that was in the garden of our guest house, Ash and Ed certainly struggled against the experience and finesse of Holden and Laurence. We had a lot of rain as well! We went to town to go shopping with Ed and Ash to get DVD's and buy all the ingrediants for our classic meat towered homemade pizza's! A great evening had buy all.

Friday was a day we were all preparing for, Holden and India had a gig that evening at a venue called "The Keep". We reahersed all day and got ready for our set. Although they did'nt serve alcohol in the venue, the boys got on it hard before and smuggled in ye olde jesus juice in the christian venue Holden played and got behind him and India as we ripped the place up with J-mraz and the classic 4- chord medley, (wish Mitch was there). We moved onto another bar and watched several people pass out in pubs on our crawl through Jinja Main Street. What a night !!!!

Banterwiess und die chode

Flushed away

Friday night and this can only mean one thing, Holden went to Nile resort while Ben did some work and sulked about his loss in the rugby, however, Ben did absolutely trash Holden and pool and darts on Wednesday evening which left Holden in a mood for about 5 hours as Holden firmly believes pub games is more important than the Football World Cup. So we called a "lads night". Holden, Ash, Ed, and Laurence, we played drinking games at a bar and laughed for bloody hours.

Saturday, and it could only mean one thing, a whole day at the pool, great tanning, and swimming, pizza watching the sunset with Mark Malinga our headmaster and others. Later we went to club, and the classic case of one thing lead to another happened as we had to retire home early for beef samosa's as Laurence landed an elbow on someone trying to rob us! Sunday was definitley a chill out day, we went for a classic African dinner at Carols house, (the school P.A) were we ate, drank and met her children (see photo).

The weather has now picked up and Killi-mangina is just over the Horizon. Now today is Monday, and Holden spent the morning at the orphange, and he met with Laurence and Sarah in town for an African lunch and market shopping and we prepare for an evening shift at the babies home. We are cooking them pork kebabs which if I'm going to be honest is the only good thing about tonight, 12 babies in one room = no sleep. We also have had countless cases of cockroaches in our room. Laurence so far to count has killed 3 medium sized ones. His killing technique has been strong and his flushing of the vermin has all round was solid. Holden got his first kill the other night, and he caught an ogerous, monstrous beast and with assistance from Ben was needed on the flushing. We sealed a tight layer around the roach effectiveley mummifiying the bastard in loo roll,3 flushes later, he was never to been seen shuffling annoymously around our hollow, vacant room.

Adios Brits, Banter and the Chode. xx

lions eat elephants?

So Tuesday after Holden's moisturiser incident, he went for lunch meeting about the babies home and went to the gym with Ben. That evening Holden and Laurence went for a date at Barazza, had pizza, and talked about deep and meaningful things, basically...how boring it must be having a girlfriend! Meanwhile Holden afterwards went out for some beers with a german guy named Paul, and on the way home got chased by wild diseased infected violent dogs, standard. Oh, and Annabel broke down again but we are very immune to this now.

Anyway, rugby training Wednesday afternoon, in preparation for the big game on Thursday when school term finishes of Alex's Team (the Elephants) Vs Ben's Team (the Lions), winner takes all. After the final assembley Ed and Ash had their girls football team play against one another followed by the rugby. The Lions roared into the lead in the first 10 minutes by scoring below the posts, unfortunatley the lions paw clawed the ball to the right of the posts and it was 5-0. In the final minute of the first half the elephants stomped through the lions defence to score by the posts and this time the mighty elephant hoofed the ball between the sticks. 7-5 to the elephants. The second half became more physical with both elephants and lions being swung, smashed and hurled into the enthusiastic crowd. A few near scores from both teams but the game finished 7-5 and the school errupted with cheers to celebrate an afternoon infused with both entertainment and skill. A re-match has been called in September when term starts again....The Lions will have their revenge!

love from B & the C xx

So a bike crash was definately on the cards. Ben hands off the handle bars, Holden steering from the back, a recipe for disaster; and it was. Moving about 5mph we pathetically fell off the side, a few bruises and scratches but we lived to fight another day. The weekend was a similar situation with epic nights out with the boys and gals from Busoga Trust on top form. Sunday and a trip to church with the born again christians, for those Borat fans, it was exactly like that. Singing, dancing, rolling around on the floor, and general all round exaggerated praise only seen before at CYNT ( a mad night in Cardiff). The football video made, (check on my facebook page) and we had an early night as we prepared for rafting the great river Nile the next day.

up at 8.30, strong coffee, boiled eggs, life vests, helmets, look like bellends. 6 in a boat...Henry our raft guide said "how do you want to take the rapids? medium or hard?" Laurence replied "hard, very hard"...it was carnage, 40km stretch of blue skies and grade 5 white water drowning us at every opportunity, we flipped on every rapid in true style as it churned raft and bodyparts in all directions like a giant blender and in many occassions Holden used his face to cushion the flying paddles. A glorious 45 minute stretch of flat open water at midday with some pineapple and biscuits as we all went dipping in the crocodile infested water and backflipped off the raft before the beasting began once again. The final rapid known as the "bad place" truely was an adrenaline junkie's wet dream a perfect scenario to commit the perfect suicide.

A long bus journey back to the rafting campsite. We had a massive beef kebab BBQ and free beer. We waited for our rafting video to be shown and 9pm on the big screen while the bar filled up, and we soaked ourselves in aftersun after a full day in the sun. Talking of aftersun, Ben and Ed decided to cover Holdens face in aftersun after he retired to the dorm about 50 metres from the bar. As he woke up the next morning, blind in one eye, he slapped Laurence round the face and drove home leaving the boys to make their own way home, revenge is sweet. Overall rafting on the Nile is one of the best experiences to date, a great day out, mental waters, loads of food and booze, free accomodation, and great pranks by mates.

we've given him some before, but can we give him more.....Banter and the Chode xxx

Smashing and crashing

Torrential rain is not our friend. Though it may help to ripen fruits, it

turns Laurence and Holden rotten. This is particularly exasibated when

on a motorbike with flip-flops and t-shirts! It's been on and off all week

like a strobe light, darkening the sky's one moment then giving glimpses

of sunny hope the next.

Laurence first encountered an adverse effect of this on route to school on

monday in order to teach after it has been raining thick slug sized droplets

all night. It was a clear morning with a handful of puddles on the cement

roads no bigger than a frisbee.However the route to school gets slightly

more "traditional" i.e. Mud! to say the least Annabel wasn't equipped for the

African soil which gets baked in the heat all day and when added with water

turns to clay and effortlessly clings to the tyres, hardens and stops them

moving. It was like driving Annabel on an ice-rink. Basically had to abandon

ship and all hope on a road in the middle of no-where with only wheat crops

as companions.

Laurence was stuck for a good hour until a farmer and his stick helped pry off

the parasite and we edged forward only to jam again 1 metre down the road.

This happened all the way home and as you can deciphere this tale unfolds in

a tedious inevitability with a few bails, a load of sludgey mud on the clothes

and an agonisingly long and brain numbing morning. On a positive note it was

actually kind of fun sliding around the muddy roads and completely losing

control. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Holden was in his legion of doom as he was

sick. Neggin hard we picked up our day by the scruff of our balls and went to

town, and met up later with Emily Young and her team. A couple of beers at Adrift

and a fight at drop zone pub completed a day for banterous souls.

Wednesday, and the big day has finally surfaced, attempted only by those with no

fear of lash, gash, and smash. Blossoming in our white gillets, and white tracky

B's, our market trip truely would have made take that proud! We cooked a spicy cake

for Sarah and Jade's (twins) birthday and drank gallons of Ugandan Gin and beer.

After several chunders, we went to the club on the back of a pick up truck with 30

others. Sadly a girl died in the club out the back and she didn't make it. What

makes a banterous night unacceptable is when there is a girl passed out in a bad

way, and there is not ambulance service available, and no hospital open at night.

A shame to experience such thing, but Ben did carry her out over his shoulder.

A hungover day today but it is Rachels 19th Birthday, so a nice dinner tonight

will be much desired... Holden had a Sonrise meeting in town but apart from that

it has been a fairly boring day...

Stay classy world, Banter and the chode. xx

Hi team, hope you are all well wherever you are in the world. Uganda is really hot, and lots has

been going on over the last week. So Saturday night was awesome...a trip up to "campsite" just up from Bujagali Falls was where the damage started, after a swim at Nile Resort Hotel and pizza at "Adrift" (a place over looking the Nile) allowed Holden and Laurence to let their hair down. Which by the way is getting quite long now, We really are getting into the shabby travelers role! A messy night in the club was key, and Laurence managed to pick up a very nice tall blonde Dutch girl, yet what is important to note is the fact he was "cock-blocked" not by Holden for once, but by her ugly sister...Stumbling home with some beef samosas we hit the hay and had a nice late rise the next day.

Sunday....um.....can't even remember what we did.....nevermind, I'll move on.

Monday, and the arrival of Ash and his brother Ed arrived! Ash an old shoe to Uganda kicked things off in style. Meeting with Godfrey in the morning, and we got some certificates made for the rugby boys at school. They read like this:

"Lords Meade Vocational College awards

(name)

...................

The Holden and Laurence

rugby achievment

award

For commitment to rugby and sports

Signed: Ben Laurence, and Alex Holden"

We handed these out in assembly, effectively, we founded rugby colours at the school, strong. A quick speech in assembly about us achieving second place in the tournament 3 weeks back and a welcome speech for Ash and Ed. It was their first night so some beers at the pub and some games of pool was on the agenda for the evening. Tuesday, and trip to town for a Laurence, Holden, Connor and Sam t-shirt shopping in the market was the plan of action. Some interesting t-shirts were purchased and some were rather spectacular. Holden bought one which had bright orange sleeve saying, "wendys burger house, homemade hamburgers", another saying "rock out with your cock out". Laurence was caught browsing at the starwars t-shirts, but settled for the "milo" one. Rugby training in the afternoon, Kene take note, we have now taught the boys the drop kicking game with the zones either side of the posts, it's alot tougher with stones on the pitch and hard red soil. Talking of soil, Holden soiled his pants the other day. followed by watching "kick ass", what a film, and not to mention,Jenny made us guaqamole and chicken wraps for dinner, night night sunshine.

Wednesday,and we had lunch in a new restaurant called "The keep", epic because they had Nandos piri piri sauce. A trip to sonrise orphanage with India to change some nappies, and back to go food shopping for "bangers and mash, banters and lash". Holden went on a mega lash to Sombraros while Laurence had an early night as he had 4 hours of economics teaching from 9am with the 6th form and a revision session because their mocks start next week. It was tiring but a productive day, a complete contrast to Holdens; whom Laurence passed on the motorbike on the way to school stumbling and choding his way home with a bottle of waragji in one hand. Anyway that night Holden, Laurence and India were on 'Baby Night Patrol' at Sonrise...basically pooey nappy's, screaming and more poo. We got little to no sleep as seen by the picture of Holden and Laurence negging in the morning (no we aren't hungover this time). The mood was lightened however by a 3am skype call from Levey who could not stop laughing for 15 minutes at the sight of us struggling to change nappy's and keep babies quiet, at the same time Nick from Melbourne gave us a quick call and laughed his head off at us man handling babies!! so much poo....

Anyway Keep Chillin' like a Villain.....muchos besos, Banter and the Chode xxxx