Smashing and crashing

Torrential rain is not our friend. Though it may help to ripen fruits, it

turns Laurence and Holden rotten. This is particularly exasibated when

on a motorbike with flip-flops and t-shirts! It's been on and off all week

like a strobe light, darkening the sky's one moment then giving glimpses

of sunny hope the next.

Laurence first encountered an adverse effect of this on route to school on

monday in order to teach after it has been raining thick slug sized droplets

all night. It was a clear morning with a handful of puddles on the cement

roads no bigger than a frisbee.However the route to school gets slightly

more "traditional" i.e. Mud! to say the least Annabel wasn't equipped for the

African soil which gets baked in the heat all day and when added with water

turns to clay and effortlessly clings to the tyres, hardens and stops them

moving. It was like driving Annabel on an ice-rink. Basically had to abandon

ship and all hope on a road in the middle of no-where with only wheat crops

as companions.

Laurence was stuck for a good hour until a farmer and his stick helped pry off

the parasite and we edged forward only to jam again 1 metre down the road.

This happened all the way home and as you can deciphere this tale unfolds in

a tedious inevitability with a few bails, a load of sludgey mud on the clothes

and an agonisingly long and brain numbing morning. On a positive note it was

actually kind of fun sliding around the muddy roads and completely losing

control. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Holden was in his legion of doom as he was

sick. Neggin hard we picked up our day by the scruff of our balls and went to

town, and met up later with Emily Young and her team. A couple of beers at Adrift

and a fight at drop zone pub completed a day for banterous souls.

Wednesday, and the big day has finally surfaced, attempted only by those with no

fear of lash, gash, and smash. Blossoming in our white gillets, and white tracky

B's, our market trip truely would have made take that proud! We cooked a spicy cake

for Sarah and Jade's (twins) birthday and drank gallons of Ugandan Gin and beer.

After several chunders, we went to the club on the back of a pick up truck with 30

others. Sadly a girl died in the club out the back and she didn't make it. What

makes a banterous night unacceptable is when there is a girl passed out in a bad

way, and there is not ambulance service available, and no hospital open at night.

A shame to experience such thing, but Ben did carry her out over his shoulder.

A hungover day today but it is Rachels 19th Birthday, so a nice dinner tonight

will be much desired... Holden had a Sonrise meeting in town but apart from that

it has been a fairly boring day...

Stay classy world, Banter and the chode. xx

Hi team, hope you are all well wherever you are in the world. Uganda is really hot, and lots has

been going on over the last week. So Saturday night was awesome...a trip up to "campsite" just up from Bujagali Falls was where the damage started, after a swim at Nile Resort Hotel and pizza at "Adrift" (a place over looking the Nile) allowed Holden and Laurence to let their hair down. Which by the way is getting quite long now, We really are getting into the shabby travelers role! A messy night in the club was key, and Laurence managed to pick up a very nice tall blonde Dutch girl, yet what is important to note is the fact he was "cock-blocked" not by Holden for once, but by her ugly sister...Stumbling home with some beef samosas we hit the hay and had a nice late rise the next day.

Sunday....um.....can't even remember what we did.....nevermind, I'll move on.

Monday, and the arrival of Ash and his brother Ed arrived! Ash an old shoe to Uganda kicked things off in style. Meeting with Godfrey in the morning, and we got some certificates made for the rugby boys at school. They read like this:

"Lords Meade Vocational College awards

(name)

...................

The Holden and Laurence

rugby achievment

award

For commitment to rugby and sports

Signed: Ben Laurence, and Alex Holden"

We handed these out in assembly, effectively, we founded rugby colours at the school, strong. A quick speech in assembly about us achieving second place in the tournament 3 weeks back and a welcome speech for Ash and Ed. It was their first night so some beers at the pub and some games of pool was on the agenda for the evening. Tuesday, and trip to town for a Laurence, Holden, Connor and Sam t-shirt shopping in the market was the plan of action. Some interesting t-shirts were purchased and some were rather spectacular. Holden bought one which had bright orange sleeve saying, "wendys burger house, homemade hamburgers", another saying "rock out with your cock out". Laurence was caught browsing at the starwars t-shirts, but settled for the "milo" one. Rugby training in the afternoon, Kene take note, we have now taught the boys the drop kicking game with the zones either side of the posts, it's alot tougher with stones on the pitch and hard red soil. Talking of soil, Holden soiled his pants the other day. followed by watching "kick ass", what a film, and not to mention,Jenny made us guaqamole and chicken wraps for dinner, night night sunshine.

Wednesday,and we had lunch in a new restaurant called "The keep", epic because they had Nandos piri piri sauce. A trip to sonrise orphanage with India to change some nappies, and back to go food shopping for "bangers and mash, banters and lash". Holden went on a mega lash to Sombraros while Laurence had an early night as he had 4 hours of economics teaching from 9am with the 6th form and a revision session because their mocks start next week. It was tiring but a productive day, a complete contrast to Holdens; whom Laurence passed on the motorbike on the way to school stumbling and choding his way home with a bottle of waragji in one hand. Anyway that night Holden, Laurence and India were on 'Baby Night Patrol' at Sonrise...basically pooey nappy's, screaming and more poo. We got little to no sleep as seen by the picture of Holden and Laurence negging in the morning (no we aren't hungover this time). The mood was lightened however by a 3am skype call from Levey who could not stop laughing for 15 minutes at the sight of us struggling to change nappy's and keep babies quiet, at the same time Nick from Melbourne gave us a quick call and laughed his head off at us man handling babies!! so much poo....

Anyway Keep Chillin' like a Villain.....muchos besos, Banter and the Chode xxxx

Bombs away!

Another blog entry in the Laurence and Holden adventures. Well the bombscares have definitely shaken things up here in Uganda. On Wednesday 75 people we confirmed dead. A bomb was let off in the National Kampala Rugby ground on the night of the world cup final, and another was let of in a bar in the capital centre. On Thursday however it was 74 people confirmed dead as one poor blighter was put in the dead pile while alive....being buried alive, not acceptable, "kill bill fans" eat your heart out. Two people were found with hand grenades trying to enter the National Agricultural show just down the road in Jinja on Thursday, but all is well; and the only blasts we have heard have been from Annabel's exhaust while cruising through the muddy tracks of Uganda.

Holden and Laurence have sampled in some cooking this week and laid off the booze a tad. A massive spag bol has kept our energy levels high but the classic case of "diarrea is like hair colour, it runs in the jeans" has still been a frequent topic of conversation. Kevin and Elspeth (trusties of the Bujagali Trust) hosted a massive lunch on Thursday for all the sponsors and staff of schools, where 3hours of speeches happened before food even arrived, TIA! Sam the accountant, Laurence and Holden popped off to Sonrise babies home in the afternoon for some bed assembling, and babies Boda Boda rides (motor bike rides) which is where we met Amy again....the manager of Sonrise. The evening entailed a goodbye meal for Kevin and Elspeth, where Holden and Laurence attended expecting 9 people, thankfully it was just the four of us. An Indian feast was devoured with some Nile Special beer and some games of pool finished a great evening fit for kings.

Friday and we got up early for a breakfast "rolex", which is a cabbage and onion omelette cooked on the street corner wrapped in a chappati and rolled up, it costs about 15p!! We went to school for a meeting with a teacher who writes textbooks and we helped him with some editing and writing....oh the joys of language. Another gym session getting stacked and then pork and chips for dinner at a local shack, before watching an illegally downloaded copy of "green zone" and a game of hearts.

A lie in was definitely on the cards for today.....and Laurence and Holden are sitting in a restaurant on the laptops with a drinkin the Ugandan sun. Quote Ben " I feel like were are undercover British journalists sitting here Holds", element boy! Off to Nile resort now, probably the most beautiful swimming pool in the world overlooking the Nile. A massive night out tonight in Jinja is definitely on the cards, lets hope we don't get "Maria'd".

Missing you all lots................NOT, banter and the chode. xx

Captains (b)log

Morning world, about a week behind here, but I'll try to fill you in what we've been up to!

So Wednesday entailed another day coaching rugby and a ladies night out which ended messy... On the Thursday we had a chill out day, helping out Will and John two of the voulunteers

and a couple of trips to the market left only one out come as the weekend came around quickly.

The Gappys in the Guest house are all leaving this monday (bum out) so naturally a friday and

saturday lashing for a few casuals was a must!...beers,gin and 200ml vodka sachets equivalent

to 25p a packet got us hooooooned in 'Viewers' the sweatiest club in the world and Laurence

woke up starkers on the shower floor with the water still running. Strong. Saturday, same state

of affairs. A few shapes on the dancefloor followed by Holden shuttling the entire guest house

on the motorbike to the Nile dam at 5am, where we paid a fisherman to borrow his old old wooden ship and sailed into the warm orange morning mist to watch the sunrise...

8:30am the next day we have to take the boys to damnwaters for the regional 7's rugby tournament,It was a dark day. Before we leave, brush our teeth, with a bottle of Jack. But the boys did well and we came second to qualify for the Nationals in Kampala this weekend which is most likely to be cancelled as the bombings took place at the rugby club, glad the tournament wasn't last weekend. World cup final evening and it was a poor evening for all. Holden stayed in bed and slept 18 hours straight and no one but Ben, John and Connor bothered staying out for the whole game, but the Spanish did win apparently....er beurgh.

Monday was a good day heading to town to attempt to go on the internet, but no...it was off

everywhere. A quick trip to see the babies at Sonrise with India and then a final BBQ and

guitar songs to say goodbye to Livy, Liberty, Ollie, Marie-Ann and Mary; and then there were

five. Holden did however try to steal Connor's homemade cookies across the room while Laurence distracted him by telling him stories. One kick to balls and a punch and the mission failed. Off to Lunch now but hope you all have a good week. Hopefully the bombers don't stray a

couple of miles over Jinja way!

Stay steady team, Banter and the Chode. xx

Days go by

So another weekend starring the classic adventures of Laurence and Holden. Friday was a good day popping to sonrise babies home again and chilling out with the little ones, followed by a massive "chilli con arne" (the muscle building type), and drinks as it was Tom's dads 60th Birthday! Some beers at the pub and watching Ghana lose, not the outcome we were hoping for.

Saturday and more rugby training at Lords Meade, now the backs were flying and the forwards were lineouting, rucking and mauling....at times it was carnage to be honest, but when in Rome. To the only thing to do on a Saturday night is of course go to Somberaros, epic, dancing, Ugandan Gin, meeting some posh English girls...and there was of course the classic case of "one thing led to another...."

Hungover Sunday I don't think we saw the morning, but nevertheless, we rose to have lunch at Zamo hotel, and watch some films. Later on a few games of pool and beers at a pub called "drop zone", and ultimately it was one of the most unproductive days of our lifes.

Lets move on, Monday and more work started. Showing some people to Lords Meade and Sonrise, a meeting with Godfrey, and lunch at the source cafe. Not so forget another Holden and Laurence gym session to beat all gym sessions. "Holden and Laurence don't make workout sessions, but if they did, they'd possibily be the best workout sessions in the world!" Sorry got carried away there. The evening entailed a date for Ben and Alex in Leoz an indian restaurant where we saw Sam and a mate....awkward. We headed for some pool....and Holden was tearing Annabel up and down Main Street, what a bellend. Just to make note, didn't get to bed till 3 am because we decided it would be funnier to stay up and laugh, about how crap Mitch's fancy dress outfits were over the last three years at uni.

Tuesday we went for some lunch in town again after waking up, then Holden went for meetings while Laurence popped to the market to purchase some interesting items. One addidas retro purple bag, and a woolen hobo style jumper, thats right the nobend bought a jumper in Africa...Kene you would love it! In the afternoon more Rugby occured and Ollie came down to help coach tackling and we were getting ready for the game on Wednesday. A small incident happened during training as Ben got smashed by three 15 year old school kids and twisted his knee. I'm not joking, all shit the fan. There was swearing, moaning, whining and Holden was left to drive Annabel home on muddy roads all by himself, how selfish can you get. But on a lighter note Holden, Connor, and Ollie cooked homemade burgers of joy while Ben was negging on the sofa with the girls from the house looking after him. Every ingredient in the kitchen was in there, they did however taste awsome. Some beers as Wez came over and some guitar playing with Ollie ended another sucessful evening in the classic adventures of Laurence and Holden.

Stay classy Africa, Banter and the Chode. xx

its all tanning out fine

This Tuesday we had our first rugby coaching session at Lords Meade in the afternoon, various
skill levels,basic passing drills and clap press-ups for dropped balls. Already sweating hard just standing outside coaching but decided to get involved in the touch game at the end and within minutes we were wetter than blind lesbians at a fish mongers...drove annabel back home drenched to find that the water supply to our guest house was off for 3 days. Nightmare. Filled up a few jerry cans of remaining tap water, added some shower gel, put on our birthday suits and BOOM! homoerotic sponge bath! we would have made Ancient Greece proud.

Wednesday a couple of newbies arrive and another leaves-->> perfect excuse for a mega lash on Ladies Night at Sombreros, more waraji, which was a fitting way to end the day after sitting in lessons at school and lerking at ASCO (African street Children's Organisation). We slammed them around corners on Annabel and the never ending shuttle runs were nothing more than epic.Back to the night out, Ben decided to get thrown out of the local Kebabie because of their lack of beef samosa's at 4.30 am, purely glorious.

Thursday was a difficult day dealing with the fact Holden woke up on the sofa in the lounge, and Laurence eventually emerged from his pit of sweat and beer. We headed over to the YMCA nursery for a Bujagali lunch for all the kids and staff, speeches and banter occured atleast at some point as Eddie one of the staff stated he was "really good with little children...." discuss??? A game football in the afternoon, Lords Meade staff Vs the prefects, we lost, but was the best hangover cure hands down. Another Laurence Holden adventure happened when we decided to cook for all 14 people in the guesthouse. The classic stuffed chicken was hilarious, it arrived on the table a mere 2 hours late, but hey, TIA (this is Africa). Beers and the suprise of one of the Hampton Boys to his Girlfriend was incredible....Cardiff boyfriends....take a leaf out of that book.

Banter and The Chode xxx